Log in

Tsumuji kaze fuke;

Naruto, [doujutsu]: "Kagome, Kagome" (Neji/Hinata)


The writing journal of kill_me_faster, or one
Lorelei DiAngelo. Fiction is mostly of the black black angst variety, with a few spouts of happy and original fic thrown in. Be warned - most of what I write is of the slash variety, and occasionally not for kiddies under 18, so if you're not old enough to be reading mature content, I'll ban your ass. This isn't a democracy. Dun whine.

Also present is emptybackpack, who writes solely for philosophical amusement. This means? Just about everything is going to be either abstract or concept-oriented. Deep thoughts, here. Nothing very interesting. Currently doing 30_kisses for Haibane Renmei, Reki/Rakka.

Currently seeking a possible third member with which to wreak further havoc.

Naruto, [doujutsu]: "Kagome, Kagome" (Neji/Hinata)

Previous Entry Share Next Entry
[angels_resolve]: TARD

Title: Kagome, Kagome
Author: Lorelei DiAngelo (to all you faps who still call me "Demi" :P)
Rating: Uh...hard PG-13 for allusions to sex/b00bies? O.o I hate writing things other than porn, 'cuz then you can't tell what rating to give it.
Pairing: Neji/Hinata. For the win/lose. I can't decide which. But I think this fic works, so.
Summary: For Neji, it is like leaving the cage he never thought he'd be free of.
Notes: For cephiedvariable, for your (heavily) belated birthday, loser. I'll eventually send you your TANGIBLE present in the mail, but in the meantime, have this poorly-constructed last-minute fic!
Notes: The title "Kagome, Kagome", as well as the header used at the beginning and end of the fic, is from a Japanese children's game akin to hide-and-seek/duck-duck-goose/whatever. I took massive liberties with the translation because I FAIL.

Kagome, kagome
When will the bird come out of its cage?
The turtle and the crane slipped out at dawn
Who's that behind you?

For Neji, it is like leaving the cage he never thought he'd be free of.


For Hyuuga Hiashi, it is like gaining an eagle at the price of a dove.


For Hinata, it is everything.


Arranged marriages are not uncommon in Konoha for the old families, and Neji is aware of it. Not even Hanabi will reach, let alone surpass, his utter mastery of the Byakugan. The Hyuuga head family wants nothing more than for him to be the successor. There is an almost convenient way for them to get it.

The method is unorthodox, Hiashi admits, but it is not unlawful. It will ensure his total acceptance into the Hyuuga head family, as well as access to training and other secret arts that will fully maximize his potential. He will have money and status and the power to wield superiority over others, even his elders.

They will remove his curse seal.

Neji closes his eyes and inhales, and asks quietly what it is that Hinata has said to this.

Hiashi's eyes, more so than his silence, tell Neji that Hinata does not know.

Bowing formally, he politely declines.


The next day, an escort from the Hyuuga head family arrives at the mountain pass where he is training and tells him that it is time to prepare. When Neji asks for what, the man's lip curls in a way that gives away the purpose of his mission entirely.

Hyuuga Hinata-sama, it seemed, had graciously accepted his marriage proposal.


Everything with the old families always looks better on paper. Neji knows this. The Uchihas are the upkeepers of the law, the Hyuugas are Konoha's bloodline trump card, if there is ever a threat of war. What isn't spoken is the resentment, the rivalry, and the pressure to uphold image.

It is surely that pressure that forced Hinata into becoming a sacrifice for her father's ideals, for she will not look at him during the ceremony, and her tsunokakushi seems too large for her bowed head, her slender neck. It weighs her down, and when Neji uses the Byakugan out of self-spite, he can almost swear that he sees an invisible chain crushing her pale throat. It goes directly to his hand.

Though he is surrounded on all sides by the head family during the ceremony and the reception, Hinata is ignored, for the most part — doted upon meaninglessly by some of the women present, but even Hyuuga women are kunoichi, deep in their heart, and so most of the people pay her no mind — and as Neji breaks away for a moment to ask her if she is all right, she says the only words to him that she will speak for the entire ceremony. They make him feel like a monster.

"Omedetou gozaimasu, Neji-nii-san."

Congratulations, Neji.


He asks Hiashi about the removal of the caged bird seal on his forehead sometime between his third or fourth cup of sake, but the man only looks at him, impassively, and tells him that it will fade when Hinata is actually his wife.


They're given a house in a quiet but respectful section of the Hyuuga head family district, close to Hiashi, and as the paper door slides shut behind them, casting them in the dark, Neji finally understands that he has simply been led from an iron cage to a gilded one. He also understands the meaning of the word fear.

The sake he's had at the after-wedding reception was a little too much, and it's all he can blame it on as Hinata slips easily and suddenly out of her bridal kimono, and the first thing his hand sees fit to do is to set itself gently atop her right breast.

He takes it back; shakes his head in denial and even takes a step away, but she takes that step forward again and moves his unsteady hand: puts it back upon her breast, where he can hear her fluttering heartbeat. It's almost at the same place where his jyuuken had made her cough up her own blood. He's so close, he can feel the heat of her body, of her blush. She is embarrassed, but she knows what her family expects of her, and Hinata, after all, will always do what the family expects.

All he can let her do is live her own life, trapped forever with him. Neji feels that heartbeat under his hand and gently squeezes the flesh that rises around it. He almost wonders at it, then, at how small and how soft it is, that breast, and when Hinata flinches, and makes a small, scared noise, he pulls her against her and buries his face in her beautiful chest, just so that she can feel how he shakes.

When they fall together, floating through the air as though the oppressive atmosphere around them had been the only thing holding them up, Neji's world flashes Byakugan white.


He wonders if she feels pleasure. It is impossible to tell from her pale, breathless face, from the sweat that runs down her thighs, from the stuttering, timid way she still says his name.

God, he hopes that she does.


After, he lays sprawled under the blankets with his head pillowed on Hinata's lap and wonders why it is he can't seem to catch his breath. He is panting, tired all over, and feels somewhat like a child as Hinata brushes her fingertips across his forehead, eyes staring across the dark, silent room at something he will never see. Neji can't stop shaking, and he has no idea why. Logically, he tells himself that it is from using muscles that he isn't particularly used to using in that particular way, and the sudden strain is causing them to spasm, but in a more forward part of his mind, he feels a thin line of pain throb its way across his forehead and feels like it is all a dream.

When he at last meets Hinata's eyes, he sees his face reflected in their silvery depths, and knows then the source of his dull pain.

The curse seal has burned itself away.


Before he drops off to sleep entirely, Neji lifts his head from Hinata's lap and holds up the coverlets for her in invitation, unsure of what sort of expression he should wear on his face. He's tired, satisfied, and anxious, and he was rarely so straight-forward about those sort of things, even to himself. He doesn't even try to think of what that means.

Hinata slips into bed with him, but rolls pointedly onto her side when he reaches for her, showing her strong, slender back. There are lines from where he had pushed her too hard onto the mats of the floor, and the sight of them makes him feel like an animal, again.

They look like the bars that would cage a felon...or, perhaps, a bird.


"Oyasumi," he murmurs, in what he hopes is a reassuring, gentle way. It comes out dreary and monotonous, so he brushes his fingers through Hinata's hair softly in order to get the message across.

She curls even farther into herself, burrowing under the covers like a flower starting to wilt.

"Oyasumi nasai," she says, so quietly that Neji almost cannot hear it.


He awakens before Hinata in time to see the dawn hit her delicate cheeks, her rounded nose, her ebony hair. She is even more fragile when sleeping, and he wonders if the marks on her back have faded away. It doesn't bother him that they're both unclothed, lying together under the same blankets and sharing the same house. It doesn't even bother him that that doesn't bother him, when faced with the almost pleasant ache in his limbs and Hinata's radiant, almost doll-like face. His hair is too long, falling over his shoulders in thick tangles, and he wishes that it were Hinata's hair, instead. But he knows, beyond a doubt, that she will never grow it out.

Long hair was a disadvantage that only a true Hyuuga could afford.


He visits Hiashi for their morning training, and the man is not surprised when he sees Neji's unblemished forehead, his choice limp.

He welcomes him to the family with a well-aimed jyuuken to his wrist.


On the walk home (strange that he could have a place of his own like that, now), Hinata is awake, and he is almost disappointed. The morning sun, at least, put a little bit of rose in her cheeks. She pads along the empty street with her head down and a reed basket in her hands. The Hyuuga family, now with no need of a successor, has sent their once-highest shopping.

"Oh-Ohayou," he says, uncomfortably, stopping with his hand held out, offering in perhaps not the best way to assist her with her burden.

Hinata whisks past him with her head still down, and had the wind not been blowing in his direction that day, Neji wasn't even sure he would have heard her.

"...Ohayou gozaimasu."


It is strange to have a breakfast made by someone else waiting ready for him on his plate. Neji is used to dragging himself home from lessons, thoroughly beat, and slapping together whatever food he could find around his former meager lodgings that looked even the remotest bit healthy. He is not a terrible cook, but nor is he a particularly devoted one, and he knows from experience that Hinata is gourmet.

He taps his hands together, silently, says the formal greeting, and somehow manages to find a way to eat despite the lump in his throat.

Hinata stares out the window, hands propping up her chin and the breeze swaying her hair gently back and forth. She is wearing the first expression he has seen her wear in days, and it makes Neji's stomach roil a bit to notice that it is not a particularly happy one.

When she clears the plates, he wanders casually up to the window and searches for the object of her melancholy stare. It is not something as generic as freedom, as he had originally thought it would be.

It is Uzumaki Naruto, sleeping quietly under a tree that gives him shelter from the sun.


Word spreads like fire through the leaves of Konoha, and soon their house (their house, their house) is filled with genin teams of all numbers and intents. Ino is proud of Hinata, and Neji can hear her say some somewhat exaggerated sentences regarding his physical anatomy that causes Hinata to accidentally set the stove afire. Shikamaru idly remarks that Neji could have done worse for a wife, because Hinata was nice, and at least she kept quiet all of the time (he puts specific emphasis on that part, to say the least). Chouji asks if her cooking is really as good as everyone says it is.

Naruto's response is typical. He yells at Neji, he curses the Hyuugas, and he asks Hinata why, why doesn't she stand up for herself more often, when the results were always going to be something like this? He promises to beat down Hyuuga, if that's what she wants, and the entire room goes still with the sudden heavy implicitness of that statement.

All eyes are on Hinata as she stands that close to Uzumaki Naruto without fidgeting, passing out, or even showing a trace of her usual blush, and meets his eyes without embarrassment.

There is a heaviness in her eyes, true, but she tells him without stuttering that no, she is fine.


Neji cuts his hair in the hopes that Hinata will smile again.


There is surprise in her eyes, but the smile only comes at his awkward embarrassment when she asks just why it was that he cut it.


He has no experience on the techniques necessary to make a girl happy, so he chokes down his bitter family pride and asks Tenten just how it is he should go about it. She asks him, in return, just why it is that he needs to know. There is no reason he needs to go around impressing girls now, now that his fate has already been carved in stone.

He asks Haruno Sakura, and she tells him, without laughing, all of the things that it is she knows.


The head family has no interest for her, anymore, so Neji takes over Hinata's personal training himself, though he suspects it is something she would have eventually continued doing on her own. He thinks Hiashi will disapprove, but he doesn't particularly care.

They have put her in a cage, but they will not clip her wings.


Around February, when the snow has colored all of the Konoha leaves to crystal, Hinata starts, in sleep, to lean timidly into his broad frame. She is ice in his arms, sculptured ice, but he will use the fire of his determination to burn away the cold.

He laughs, self-depreciatingly, and wonders when it was that he had started to speak like Lee.


They do their training at night, now, because the glare of the sun against the snow hurts their Byakugan eyes.


Winter comes and goes, but Hinata still sleeps safely in the shelter of his arms.

Around May, Neji finally has the courage to feel for her heartbeat again.


In the second dream-like afterward, they take a bath together. Neji reflects that perhaps not everything, such as the standardization of open-air baths, is terrible about all of these old families. He is about to say the most vulnerable thing to anyone since the time he admitted Uzumaki Naruto saved him from the darkness (it is, Hinata-sama, I'd like to...wash your hair, if you don't mind), when he slips on a moss-covered rock and somehow forgets in that moment that he is a fully-fledged shinobi, for he goes down on his rear atop an almost comically-placed bucket of wash water.

Never since he had thrown up the ironically named Curry of Life all over Tenten's shoes has he been so mortified. But Hinata laughs, laughs until she cries, and Neji figures that he can always ask her to keep it between the two of them sometime later.

For the time being, he asks her candidly if he can wash her hair.


It is soft; as soft as her skin, as soft as her breasts, and to him, it feels like the feathers of a thousand fledgling birds.


"Oyasumi," he says, as though to get a point across.

She takes no notice, face pressed against his neck and smelling of sweetness and shampoo.

"Oyasumi," she replies, and though her voice is still quiet (it will hardly ever raise beyond a respectful pitch for the rest of her life), it no longer sounds like she is asking for permission or forgiveness, and therefore, it is all right.

Before he knows it, an entire year in this manner of life has gone by.


"Love is not perfect, but love is free," Hinata says out of the blue one lazy day, as the two of them are sprawled out in the grass taking time to do nothing in particular (Shikamaru would most definitely approve). She lays on his chest as though it is nothing, now, and perhaps it is meditation on that subject that leads to her current question.

Neji sits half-upright, an expression both bemused and fond passing across his pale features. "Why say something so...nonsensical...like that so suddenly, Hinata-sama?" he asks, though of course, he already knows. Can't forget, even if he wanted to. Their marriage was a cage, designed to trap them both.

He thinks it, but Hinata is the one to say it aloud. "We picked the lock, and set ourselves free."

He lies back down again, arms behind his head, and watches the birds drift by aimlessly in the sky. "...Yes."

"How many birds do you count, Neji-nii-san?"

He closes his eyes. "You're just full of strange questions today, aren't you." Even as he is speaking, he is adding the total up in his head.


Hinata smiles, abashedly. "That's funny. I counted ten."

Ten... of course, ten. He had counted the seven in the sky, the one in the tree, and the one in his arms. He had forgotten to count himself.

Love is not perfect, but love is free. He is starting to think that he is more like Lee than he once thought, because he likes the sound of that. Even his own father had chosen to make his first real decision based on a strange manner of twisted love. He wonders when it was that both he and Hinata had finally begun to think for themselves.

On a breezy summer day in Konoha, Neji feels for her heartbeat just to have the feel of her heartbeat.

Kagome, kagome
When will the bird come out of its cage?
The turtle and the crane slipped out at dawn.
Who's that behind you?

AN: This...definitely wasn't supposed to end happy. O.o It was supposed to end bitter and ironic and cruel. GOD I SUCK. It must be the 2 AM talking.

Word Count: 3,050 words. Wow, that's fucking long. I didn't even want to end it where I ended it, either. O.o God, my love of this pairing is so random and occassionally unappreciated. I think it may become, like...my Naruto OTP. >__>

*cough* Next up! Lee/Gaara porn of a serious nature! Yes, it CAN be done! (Hopefully!) I will only attempt to use the phrase "springtime of youth" once! WILL I SUCCEED? FIND OUT NEXT TIME, IN eternally_sky!!!!

*shot for st00pid*
  • *__*

    Man, Demi Lori, you really can pack a punch sometimes, you know that right? I think the sort segments and sentences worked crazily well for this, as did the strikingly stark imagery-- the whole fic comes off as "white" somehow, if that makes sense. Pure and cold/cool and with that subtle uncomfortableness for much of the fic that the color gives off sometimes...but it warms up by the end, and it's still pretty.
    • I actually love this more than anything I have ever written in the world save...two/three random fics that no one remembers. I'll probably make some sort of post when I get home from work tonight illustrating why, but I'm sure no one will care.

      ANYWAY. I'm glad you liked this. ^___^;; Though *I* liked it, I was unsure how it would come off to other people. Ah, it just came so naturally to me that I was happy~. ♥ I wonder if that means that I'm getting my writing touch back.


      I love you. I hope your Lee/Gaara porn is as good, though I don't think I'll be able to post it until around Friday of next week because I am SO LAME WITH BUSY and also started it on the laptop. Which means I have to use the public library computer to post it because THE LAPTOP IS FUNKY AND DOES THINGS TO .TXT DOCUMENTS. O.o That apparently my desktop computer cannot comprehend.

      It's like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole or something.

      ...what am I talking about???
  • Ah, I'm glad you gave it a happy ending. ^_^ It's so sweet, but still a little sad as it is... It think it's just right! ;D Good job! ♥♥♥
  • Pretty X333 I really like this, cuz it's just so tense and fragile but strangely pretty. I guess it's like holding a glass snowflake in your hands or something. I personally really like the idea of Neji/Hinata, too (though, a loooooooooong time ago, I drew Gaara/Hinata).

  • lovely even if it was not what you intended

    very nicely written with some beautiful imagery. I agree with another reviewer about how it seems "white" somehow. perhaps the pure emotion or the simple images and their shadows. i haven't wrtten much, but the few pieces i have always end up with different endings then i expect. you definately do not "suck" :) thanks for sharing this

  • i had to store this one in my memories- i thought it was absolutely beautiful. at times i found myself choking on tears.

    love that it was done in neji's p.o.v- and maybe i enjoyed it because neji was actually being sensitive to his hinata's feelings.

    just... just... wow.

    and, um... hinataboobiesforthewin!!!

    *dashes off*
  • ;~;

    I don't know what to say. I want to give a good-enough review worthy of this beautiful piece you've written, but I don't know what to say. T.T I'm sorry I suck so much. But this, this was so beautiful it almost made me cry. The way you wrote it, the way you constructed each paragraph, the emotions hidden in every line. ;~; Beautiful.

    *builds a shrine*
  • wah! I loved it! It was so beautiful and pretty and beautiful and nice!
  • The emotion underneath this one is so beautifully expressed. I really love they way you wrote this...it's very poetic and dreamlike; I love how there is very little dialogue -- it really gives the few lines that are there much more meaning, not to mention the last scene is incredible. The hope that begins to reveal itself is so sweet and fragile...it's enough to break one's heart. I love this story.
  • Lovely, and finely drawn... the way the Neji sets his determination on Hinata's happiness, and ives up trying to control everything, your use of description and the way you strung the scenes together... it's like a portrait sketched in few a few decisve lines
  • Wow fuck.

    Okay, I need some time to process that. Hold up a while.
    • OMG LOLZ I win. >D
      • Jesus, even re-re-reading this, I still shiver.

        I don't know what it is, exactly. I mean, the two of them are so perfectly in character, but it's not that. And they're in a shitty situation, but it's not that, either. And your style is good, fabulous even, totally top-of-your-game, with all the fat clipped off the prose except for some few moments when it's just so rich and delicious, but it's more than that, too.

        The imagery you use is just gorgeous, and I guess that's a big part of it - there are a few sentences I had to re-read several times because I was just so struck by them. The pacing is spot-on. It never drags and never feels rushed. And...these two, they just feel so damn real. Neji, so fucking happy to be loved and free of his curse for the first time in his life, but so fucking guilty over the fact that his happiness came at the cost of hers. But even better than him is Hinata, learning to love him, except not all creepy like that came out - letting herself be won over by someone who had previously hurt her who came as a representative of people who had previously hurt her, but moving past that and letting his love win her over. It's sweet and it's warm and it's touching; it's about not grand happiness but a simple one, and that makes it all the lovelier.

        Err, as far as constructive stuff goes...? Because, obviously, almost a year later you're going to want con-crit? A bit heavy on the italics, but I think I've expressed that reservation to you before regarding your writing. And...that's really fucking it.

        God, it's so beautiful and spare I can't get over it. It's like the fucking Zen garden of fics. Swear to god that you could find enlightenment in it.
        • Oh, come on, you totally didn't have to come back and give this such a glowing review NOW. XD;; Though it did give me the fuzzies inside.

          The only thing I especially like is that all the dialogue was in wannabe anime-fag Japanese until the very end. And it didn't make me look like a weeaboo. /EGO Then again, s'not like it was hard considering THERE WASN'T REALLY DIALOGUE TO BEGIN WITH. *deflate*

          Oh, well. But still. I am actually really really glad you think highly of this fic because it's the only thing for Naruto I will ever write ever. The end.
          • Oh, you didn't want the review? Fine then. I take it all back.

            Err, no, I just felt really bad for having promised a review and never delivered. That's like promising pizza to C.C. and then telling her that Pizza Hut is closed due to AIDS.

            Yes! I loved that too - the fact that though we as the readers may have understood what they were saying (though some of us may not have, cough cough), there was still that language barrier until the very end. And in the very end, they were articulate and so very in love, like their tongues as well as they themselves had been freed.

            (So, um, message: don't speak in Japanese, you're just imprisoned by your own weeaboo status if you do?)

  • Very nice piece! =D I thoroughly enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing! +mems.
  • Oh, win my darling. WIN.

    The concept of this fic has been done a million and one times, but NEVER this well. I'd almost forgotten why I even liked this pairing in the first place but it's just the... well, it's not really love. But it's comfortable and they're not miserable, really and...

    ... your Neji also makes me sparkle and smile. And I LIKE the happy ending. You do happy endings so rarely, but they hold just as much punch as your HORRIBLE, DEPRESSING, BITTER, OUCH endings. There was a lot of power in that last section.

    And you Hinata just... makes me all not indifferent towards her. ♥ ♥ ♥

    • AND YOU ARE GOING TO WRITE LEE/GAARA. I AWAIT THAT BATED BREATH, SRSLY. you should dedicate it to Dawn or something. She will sparkle.
      • It's actually for lykomancer, for giving me paid LJ time, but Dawn's avid enthusiasm of the pairing DID inspire me, so. ^^;; Maybe I can mention her in the footnotes or something.

        Well, it's called "Akai Suna, Shiroi Hana", and abuses an Akino Arai song with the same title, so what's not to love? LAWLZ. I think if I can master Lee/Gaara SERIUZZZZ porn then I can do just about anything. (Including writing SasuSaku that people would actually LIKE. YES, I SAID IT.)

        I also have this TEENSY TIIIIIIINY idea in my head for...OroSasuKabu threesome. Most certainly not in that order. Probably. I don't know. >___> LEMME ALONE.

        ...I hate the Naruto fandom for all it's...enrapturingness.
        • Lyko gave you paid LJ time as a BIRTHDAY pressie, you freak; you don't pay people back for gifts!

          You know, strangely, I think you actually could write SasuSaku I might like. Or at least not hate with a rabid, foaming-at-the-mouth, raging loathing.
          ...which is an accomplishement.

          SOUND OT3.
          SOUND OT3.
          *dies happy just from the idea, though she understand thats your Sound OT3 would make hers look like kindergarden scribbles*

            ^^;; I actually have an idea for SasuSaku that I'm WAY TOO SCARED TO TRY OUT because I'm afraid my f-list will hate me. But do know that there's a lot of SasuNaru in the draft too, so. >__>


            Oh bitch plz

              We wouldn't hate you. We'd just note once more that you are a sick, sick puppy and that there's really no accounting for taste.
              *nods reassuringly*

              Pffft. I know you. "Bitch, please" yourself.
  • I know I left a comment. But I am not seeing it. grr. I liked it. ^^ good job.
  • alright here goes...
    it was absolutely beautiful. tear jerking beautiful! i loved the way you depicted the gentleness and fragility of hinata *cause, she's my fav+* and the way neji's contant way of trying to assure her comfort and happiness. simply romantist style. MY style exactly. i've got to admit, neji's potrayal in this one is wonderful. the 'want n not give' attitude of his, *i dont care abt neji. HAH* was simply great! HEH. hinata's the best yeah, her fragility is simply breathtakingly saddening. thats why neji's the one to save her!!!
    ps: did i tell you how much i love you, oh well, I LOVE YOU~!
  • <3+
  • *claps* Very beautiful and nicely done. I felt a certain subtleness coming from the words that somehow fits Neji and Hinata's relationship in a special way. I liked it very much when they counted the birds... very meaningful for the both of them. It made me smile really big. Thank you for sharing this fic!
  • I think you simultaneously broke and then remade my heart with this fic. This is one of the loveliest Naruto fics I've ever read, and one of the few NejiHina fics with a convincing HAPPY ending. Bravo!
  • Oh my god, but my eyes are welling up right now.

    Ten... of course, ten. He had counted the seven in the sky, the one in the tree, and the one in his arms. He had forgotten to count himself.

    So many searing images... Hinata doing menial shopping, Hinata staring at Naruto in the shade, Neji cutting his hair for Hinata. Gorgeous and real. I for one am immensely glad you chose not to end this cruelly. :)
Powered by LiveJournal.com